WELCOME. Again. Again.

HOOPER SMACK IT'S ME AGAIN!

Yes. Cruise.

Here we go.

So I typed this while I was on board every day. No internet access till the week was done. So read and be merry!

The adventure so far.

Well, I haven't been able to write on the blog so this is written in text first and then later uploaded. Caution, the items you are about to read may not be recent.

After 20 plus hours on a plane, I landed in New York. Took a shuttle to the nearby airport hotel and checked in. I must say, although it wasn't very posh, nor was it going to be a recurring thing, I felt very rock and roll having my own hotel room and all. Somehow the feeling of bringing my gear into the hotel room, dumping it in the corner and then jumping on the bed - all of which I had nothing to do with, payment wise. Yes, the feeling of going to a hotel that someone paid for you and booked for you is very rock and roll indeed. Sure I may not have thrashed the hotel room, but rock and roll nonetheless.

Day 1

Got ferried over to the ship via bus the next morning. A process which took a lot longer than I was expecting. Security checks every ten or so meters. Stuck in a tent with no fan or ventilation, queuing in line to give my medical papers to the officer. Wonder why they can't do this in an air conditioned room - the air conditioned room we just came out of previously.

First impressions of ship presence? 

I am so freaking lost.

I can't find my way anywhere. It's a lot easier if you're a guest and you can just waltz around the main area. But as crew members, we have to try and use the back routes as to not cause traffic jams, or just to avoid the sight of a mass of crew members walking around the ship. The back route doors are incredibly confusing. I don't normally have a failing sense of direction, but this ship is ludicrously overcomplicated. Way to many doors and turns and stairs to get to certain places. And it doesn't help that staff access doors aren't labelled in any way. You have to guess which doors open and lead you to accessible locations.

Crew quarters are expectedly tiny. But hey, I'm not in them most of the time. And because I don't work during the day, I get to wander around the boat. I have one fear though - is that I have to wear a name tag and I might get asked questions by guests on where stuff is. Since I am almost certainly lost for the most part, being a non helpful directionally uninformed, I can't imagine trying to direct guests around the ship. I guess it's back to the smile and say 'I dunno. I'm new.'

I haven't yet had much time during the day to do stuff. The first week is loaded with health and safety trainings that drag on for hours and hours. I'll be glad when my first two weeks are over and I'm done with health and safety. Then I can get to exploring the ship more. So far I've only seen the places that I need to work.

Had my first show. First couple of hours on the job and I'm flung head first into the deep end. Can't say I wasn't expecting it. Immediately put to work. Chart reading at it's maximum! Good thing I brought along my reading book. I survived relatively unscathed but man it was hard work! But once the tedious bits are out of the way, it starts to become really fun. Production shows are insane. And I was only playing the teaser. Tempo changes with a click track and a dude counting in each tempo change. Very strange experience.

Day 2

More safety training. And then immediately more work. One big giant production show to play. 1 hour non stop of music. A gigantic chart to read from top to bottom all the way through. No pauses, no breaks, no rest. Very intense. The chart itself is pretty easy. The parts aren't difficult at all. But the rapid changes in tempo make it an insane read. I've never concentrated on reading so much in my life that I can't even glimpse at the show happening before me. There's a lot of dancing and singing going on in the front. Think broadway. But man when I'm doing the show I can't even spend a minute looking forward and peeking at the show. 

Thankfully I survived without killing the band. The performers all seemed happy. Job done I suppose. Now to do it again next week. No wait, I've got another one of these shows happening friday. Nope. No breaks yet I'm afraid!

Day 3 - Tuesday

Woke this morning with more training and then immediately to the captain's club party. This is a club for regular customers who are part of some loyalty program. Can you believe that someone actually cruised on this ship more than SIXTY times in eight years? I guess retired rich couples really have nothing else to do eh?

Found out that hey, I can't wear my hat OFF stage. But Cruise Director Mike loves it ON stage. I would've thought the other way round. 

Woke up today really early to the sound of waves hitting the boat. Living so close to the front and bottom of the ship you can actually hear the waves if you put your head on the pillow and pay attention to the sound. Sometimes we get big ones and they make quite a thump. Actually, even though they sound really big, there's no translation in movement on the ship. Everything is gently rocking. Yes. When they tell you that the ship's so big it doesn't move, they're lying. It just moves at a much slower oscillation. Very gentle rocking. Or maybe I'm just extra sensitive to gyro movements. 

Day 4 - Wednesday

Had a big breakfast and guess what, WE'RE IN BERMUDA! Just docked after pretty much 3 days at sea. Lovely!

Darn it it's raining. First day in Bermuda and it's raining. Kinda ruins the mood don't you think?

It has dawned on me that I have so little working hours on this ship. Once I'm done with training this week I'll have even more time. Gotta start making a schedule for myself.

Had a cool jazz set at night. Played the lounge. Small crowd, much more intimate, much more my kind of setting. Gotta get some rest now, got a safety quiz tomorrow and then my first show with a guest performer. Should be fun!

Day 5 - Thursday

Insanely busy day today. 4 trainings to attend. Then rehearsal. Then two shows tonight. 

It's quite the experience playing with a rhythm section that has poor time. Just means that my time has to be rock solid. Diamond solid. Kryptonite solid. Wait is kryptonite very solid? I don't think so right? But then again, it's the one thing Superman can't break! (Drum roll - crash!). The burden is on me to keep the band in time. No more relying on strong bass players for time. No more bouncing off each other to keep good time. It's all on me. 

KICK THE BAND, as my band master would say. KICK THE BAND. (prepare kicking foot) - let's hope I don't kick myself first. KICK DA BAND. Maybe I should name a band 'kickdaband'. Sounds like a soft drink.

Two more days and I'll be back where it all began and start this process all over again.

New lesson learned after tonight's show. Apparently you can focus on a piece so much that you lose focus. I over-focused. I'm not kidding. I was concentrating so hard on the rhythm that I lost the rhythm for a couple of bars. Thankfully I recovered.

Day 6 - Friday

Early morning rehearsal for second production show. Not as tough as the first actually. It's slightly more boring in my opinion. Still a mean chart to read though. Another hour straight of music with tempo changes, no breaks, style changes, and worse of all - a horrible samba part. Eugh. Broadway + latin = Fail in my opinion.

Toilet clogged. Sometimes I feel bad for the plumber. I just did a big one and it won't flush. I really feel bad for calling the guy to try and fix that. But someone's got to do it and it ain't my job. Have to keep chanting to myself though 'celebrity is paying, celebrity is paying, celebrity is paying'. Still. Must be crappy having a plumbing job on a ship. How much 'crap' you have to deal with both literally and figuratively.

Second production show is more of a doozy. 

Nipped down into the crew bar tonight. The crew PARTIES HARD. And I am totally not a party guy.

Day 7 - Saturday

Final training for the week. Hopefully I'm done with it for now. Ship safety schmafety. Had a 'walkdown' today. If you've been on cruises you'll know the thing where the crew goes on a parade on the deck for all the guests. Felt like a zoo monkey. Smiling and waving.

Farewell show tonight. Something like the welcome show. No biggie.

Gotta do my laundry. And as I've learned from my fellow band mates it's a good idea to stick around while the laundry's in the machine. Looks like I'm in for a 2 hour wait in a room with nothing to do. Thankfully I brought my computer.

Thoughts from the week? 

Good start. Now that things are settled I guess I can begin to enjoy myself more and worry less about the charts and reading and all that stuff.

Never worn this much black or formal in my entire life. Here's a thought though - I'll be happy when the time comes where I can wear whatever I like again to any gig. But until then, I must say I look good in a tux. Too bad you won't see it until January when I come back with my pictures. 

That's it for KJ's weekly update. Guess weekly updates are the way to go for this blog. No pictures or videos though. It takes far too long to upload. No twittering too. Unless I manage to snag some free wifi from the ports. Other than that, this is all you got. So deal with it.